If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
