haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
