OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
