Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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