he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
