when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize