Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
