I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
