everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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