Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
