Don't you send me to vm
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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