Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
