People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I know her cup size but not her name....
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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