i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
