just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize