u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
