Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
