that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize