I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
