You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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