He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
