just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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