Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
