I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
