Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
