Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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