We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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