yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The air taste purple.
Randomize
