I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My life is pants optional.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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