sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Someone signed my nipple.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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