can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
