Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
