My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
