what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize
