A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
