WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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