the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I am one with the molecules
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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