Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
