I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
