these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I bet he comes in French.
one might say we're banned from that church
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
