Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
