Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
