Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
