Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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