Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
