im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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