She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I am midnight drunk by noon
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
