I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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