Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
