you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
