Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
