brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
