You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
