I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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