i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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