Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
