if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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