you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
