Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
