I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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