Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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