around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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