I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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