Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
