dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
